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Chris Voss & The Black Swan Group - Be Nice -OR- BEWARE! | The Power of an Accusations Audit | Chris Voss

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Author: Chris Voss & The Black Swan Group
Categories: Business Real Estate
Tags: business, real-estate
Views: 2 · Last viewed: 2026-10-16 13:00 UTC

Short Summary

Main recommendation: when dealing with frustrating customer service, use the Black Swan Group's "Accusations Audit" technique by first voicing the negative things the other person might be thinking about you, which disarms them and makes them more willing to help. The speaker shows this working when their mom's blocked credit card was unlocked after a few minutes of accusations-audit framing on the phone.

Key Points

  • The speaker's mom's credit card was rejected while she was visiting Los Angeles, even though she had notified the card company in advance.
  • Two customer service calls with venting and frustration failed; the second rep stated that the first rep's letter-to-home requirement could not be changed.
  • Calling back the next day with an empathetic, "be nice" approach changed the outcome, and the representative unblocked the charges.
  • The speaker frames this as a holiday-season reminder that being extra nice, with negotiation techniques, improves interactions with the people around you.

Details Worth Noting

  • Concrete instructions: On the call, open by acknowledging the other person's likely view of you, for example, "Hey, look, I know we're giving you a hard time. We're crazy. We're so demanding." Then continue with the Accusations Audit framing, and the speaker reports that the representative then verified the cell phone on record and unblocked the charges.
  • The speaker notes earlier reps had been dealing with many angry customers that day, which contributed to miscommunication, but it was the accusations-audit approach on the follow-up call that won over the next representative.
  • The speaker's mom had already experienced this card problem before, and the bank's stated fix was a letter mailed to her home, which she could not receive while traveling.
  • The speaker notes that the approach is not meant to sound odd or staged; the mom's calm tone and the speaker's coaching on speakerphone were part of the call.

Bottom Line

Naming the frustration out loud before asking for help, instead of venting, can turn a dead-end customer service call into a solved problem.