Chris Voss & The Black Swan Group - The BEST Way to Build Trust In Negotiations | Chris Voss

Short Summary

Main recommendation: Build trust in negotiations by adding predictability, because clients under stress need to know what happens next and when. Chris Voss argues that the unknown is the strongest stressor, and that regular, scheduled, honest updates (even "I have nothing new") reduce that stress and earn latitude. He applies this to real estate agents working with buyers and sellers,

Key Points

• The "unknown" is treated as a major source of traumatic stress; families of kidnapping victims suffered trauma at the same rates as the victims because they did not know when it would end.
• Buyers and sellers in a home sale show a psychological profile similar to hostage families, since their hopes and future are tied to the outcome.
• Calling clients on a fixed schedule (Voss cites a colleague's practice of calling three times a week, no matter what) turns uncertainty into predictability.
• Calling to say "I have nothing new" is valuable; it shows you are watching out for them, even if it feels like it makes you look inactive.
• Contact should be specific updates, not vague check-ins like "how are you doing?"

Details Worth Noting

• Concrete instructions: Set a regular contact schedule with clients and keep it, even when there is no news (Voss's example: three calls per week). Tell the client when you will next contact them. When you have nothing new, call anyway and say so directly. Give simple, concrete updates rather than asking how they are feeling. Voss's negotiator example suggests that "how are you doing?" calls can frustrate people, so replace them with factual status reports.
• Voss's hostage example: he told a father he would call back in an hour, and kept that promise each time, so the father could endure the wait.
• The FBI Hostage Rescue Team test used the unknown (runs with no stated distance or end time) as a stressor, illustrating how much uncertainty weighs on people.

Bottom Line

Predictable, honest communication is a practical way to build trust with clients who are under stress, even when you have no news to report.