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Short Summary
Main recommendation: Parents should keep loving a wayward child, because love can do what rebuke cannot, and Isaac's love for Esau is presented as a model of that approach. The talk argues Isaac may have loved Esau with open eyes, knowing his son's flaws, rather than blindly. It also cites Esau's honor for his father as a reason the Torah later rewards Esau's descendants.
Key Points
- The Torah says Isaac loved Esau because he had a taste for wild game, while Rebecca loved Jacob, raising the question of why Isaac favored the son who conflicted with Rebecca's oracle.
- The classic Rabbinic reading, following Rashi, says Esau "trapped" his father with his mouth by feigning strict observance, for example asking about tithing salt and straw.
- The Maggid of Dubno explains that Isaac was deceived because he grew up only with Abraham and Sarah and knew total honesty, unlike Rebecca, who had grown up with Lavan.
- An alternative reading holds that Isaac knew exactly who Esau was and loved him anyway, drawing on Rav Kook's advice to a father whose son had left Judaism: "now love him even more."
- Rabbi Shimon ben Gamliel said he honored his own father greatly, but discovered that Esau honored his father even more, keeping his best clothes ready to serve his father food.
- The Sages saw Esau's honor for his father as the reason for later Torah provisions: Israel must not wage war on Esau's descendants and must not abhor an Edomite.
Details Worth Noting
- Concrete instructions: The talk gives no step-by-step instructions, but its actionable parental guidance is: do not give up or disown a wayward child, keep loving them regardless of what they become, and recognize that a parent's moral responsibility is to stay engaged rather than withdraw.
- Rav Kook's answer to the father of the drifting son was: "Did you love your son before, when he was religious?" Upon the father's reply, Rav Kook said, "Well then, now love him even more."
- The speaker notes Rashi's reading that Esau asked Isaac, "Father, how should one tithe salt and straw?" to appear punctiliously religious, though salt and straw do not require tithes.
- Bertrand Russell's remark about G.E. Moore is used as an illustration: Moore, the honest philosopher, admitted to lying only once, when asked if he had ever told a lie.
- Esau's descendants, the Edomites, are a reason for restraint: the Torah says not to provoke them to war and that Esau was given the hill country of Seir.
- The speaker concludes that some failures are honorable, and that loving children whatever they become is one of them, as God loves us.
Bottom Line
Isaac's love for Esau, even with full awareness of his flaws, is presented as a parental ideal: love can keep a child connected when rebuke fails.
