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Short Summary
Main recommendation: Instead of confronting a fellow Jew who publicly violates Shabbos with hostility, a rabbi should work at genuinely loving that person, because the rabbi's hatred may be fueling the violation rather than the violation justifying the hatred. The story follows a Haifa rabbi who was troubled by a secular shop owner who kept his store open on Shabbos morning, and it shows how a change in the rabbi's own attitude led to a change in the owner's behavior.
Key Points
- The rabbi initially asked the store owner to close only during the morning hours of shacharit, out of respect for worshippers, but the owner refused, saying he was secular and each person had his own domain.
- The rabbi's frustration was real: his store drew crowds on Shabbos morning, and worshippers leaving the shul found people hanging around it, creating a negative atmosphere.
- The Saraf of Vizhnitz, Rabbi Yisroel (who died in the 1960s), reframed the problem by asking whether the rabbi loved this Jew, and suggested the rabbi's hatred might be causing the Shabbos desecration rather than the reverse.
- The lesson is that the rabbi who feels self-righteous about his own religiosity may never see that his contempt is part of the problem.
Details Worth Noting
- Concrete instructions: Each Shabbos morning, on the way to shul, go to the store owner and tell him you love him, even if you do not yet feel it. Continue this genuinely for six months. Do not go in to ask him to close, and do not ask for anything. Simply greet him with warmth, tell him he is your brother, and give him a hug.
- The Saraf's reasoning was that the owner's soul is a piece of God, just like the rabbi's, and that love should be pursued as work the rabbi must "figure out," not something he waits to feel.
- The rabbi first struggled, because he said he did not love the man and even felt obligated to loathe him given the public violation. The Saraf's answer was that the work of love is the rabbi's responsibility.
- The owner initially assumed the rabbi had come to ask him to close, and reacted by saying the rabbi had lost his mind. The rabbi persisted with the same greeting each week.
- After six months of consistent visits, the store was closed. The speaker presents this as the outcome, without claiming a guaranteed result.
- The speaker's broader point is that without this teaching, the rabbi would have remained comfortable in his sense of righteousness, never realizing that his hatred contributed to the violation.
Bottom Line
Religious correction that begins with contempt may deepen the very behavior it seeks to change, so examining one's own heart comes before judging another's conduct.
