digest
Short Summary
Main recommendation: when a speaker faces a hostile or unresponsive audience, take responsibility for one's own part rather than blaming the listeners, and then tell a story that fits what Hashem may be asking. The speaker, Rabbi Fischel Schachter, recounts facing about 500 sixth through eighth graders who mocked him, and he says the turning point came when he stopped blaming them and asked what Hashem wanted from him.
Key Points
- The speaker describes a school assembly where students mocked his humor and sarcastically laughed, and he was ready to walk out.
- A sudden inner thought, framed as a "basketball" message from Hashem, led him to shift from blaming others to asking what he should change.
- He tied the lesson to a story about Aher (Elisha ben Avuya) riding a donkey on Shabbos while his student Meir walked alongside, where a heavenly voice declares that anyone can repent except one who blames his problems on someone else.
- The speaker recounts a story about Rabbi Yaakov (Jacob) Stark refusing to embarrass his wife, who was ill, even when it made his life hard.
- He tells a story about a father and an unhappy daughter in a wheelchair, using the cigarette-and-sun comparison to illustrate Hashem's love being far greater than a human's.
- Later, the school administrator called, thanked him, and reported that a sick child in therapy had opened up after hearing the story.
Details Worth Noting
- Concrete instructions: When facing a hostile audience, do not blame the listeners; ask what Hashem may want you to change, and be willing to tell a different story than planned.
- Concrete instructions: The speaker notes he tried stripping the humor from his talk when the mocking started, but that alone didn't help; the real shift came only after his inner reflection.
- The Meir and donkey story is used as a framework: take responsibility for your own part, and that change is what lets you move forward.
- The Stark story illustrates enduring a difficult situation rather than embarrassing someone else, presented as the speaker's model of conduct.
- The speaker says the administrator's other child (a sibling of the sick child) had been unwilling to open up in therapy, and hearing the story helped him ask whether Hashem loves his sick sibling as much, opening the conversation.
- The speaker frames these stories as traditional Torah teachings, presented as inspiration rather than professional advice.
Bottom Line
Facing a resistant audience is less about winning the room and more about examining your own response, because the change you need to make may be yours.
