digest
Short Summary
Main recommendation: Parents facing a child's crisis or struggle should keep davening and never give up, while planting "seeds" of love and time with their children, and daven for other families going through the same nisayon (test). The speaker frames life's hardships as tests from Hashem, not signs of anger, and says the outcome depends on how you respond and whether you keep trying.
Key Points
- Hardship is framed as a series of tests, like college semesters: passing one crisis doesn't end the challenges, and new tests follow.
- The speaker says Hashem is not angry at us during difficulty; He wants to see how we relate to Him and respond.
- The speaker tells of a 15-17 year old girl, brought to a rabbi (a close friend of Rabbi Pinchas Winston) because she couldn't stop crying, who had felt close to Hashem while sick with cancer but distant after going into remission.
- Nobody is free from challenge; apparent ease in someone's life usually reflects only what others don't see.
- The speaker says parents should ask others to daven for them and their children, for the wisdom to say the right thing.
- Love and time with children are presented as the most important investments, drawing on advice attributed to Rabbi Volvo.
Details Worth Noting
- Concrete instructions:
- Daven for a child and a parent of a similar age who is going through the same nisayon as you, and the speaker says you will be answered first.
- Ask others to daven for you and for your children, specifically for the wisdom (da'at) to say the right thing to children.
- When a difficult outcome happens, daven again; do not stop.
- Invest time and love with children, described as "seeds" that grow many "apples."
- Keep doing what the Torah and rabbanim permit for a child in need, and do not give up.
- The "apples and seeds" illustration: any fool can count the seeds in an apple, but only Hashem can count the apples that a seed of love and time will produce.
- The speaker attributes "time and love" as the key advice for parents to Rabbi Volvo.
- The story (told as happening in Brisk) of a wealthy man who gave generously and then lost his wealth, as explained by a sage of the generation, is used to illustrate that a new test does not mean Heaven is angry.
- The speaker presents these as religious teachings and personal reflections, not as professional parenting or counseling advice.
Bottom Line
Hardship is an ongoing test, and the response that matters is persistent prayer, prayer for others, and steady investment of love and time in children.
