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Chris Voss & The Black Swan Group - Women Negotiators | #1 Power Move to Deal With Toxic Coworkers

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Author: Chris Voss & The Black Swan Group
Categories: Psychology Business Lifestyle
Tags: psychology, business, lifestyle
Views: 2 · Last viewed: 2026-10-16 13:00 UTC

Short Summary

Main recommendation: when a coworker's behavior needs to stop but you don't want to escalate, start with a gentle label that names the pattern, and if that fails, use a more assertive "confronting label" delivered in a calm, even "analyst voice." The speakers frame this as a negotiation-style approach to handling problematic behavior that keeps the relationship intact while drawing a clear line.

Key Points

  • Start with a softer label: acknowledge what is happening and gently steer back to business without saying "knock it off."
  • If the behavior continues, escalate to a confronting label, which is more assertive and makes the other person reflect on their conduct.
  • Tone matters: keep the confronting label even and measured, not playful or aggressive, to avoid provoking a hostile response.
  • Use "it seems like" phrasing before the label to soften the assertion and avoid sounding like you are blaming the other person.

Details Worth Noting

  • Concrete instructions: First, name the shift in the relationship in a nice, non-accusatory way, for example: "It seems like we've gotten out of the business end of things. I think we should stay away from the personal. Maybe we should stick to business." Wait to see whether they take the hint.
  • Concrete instructions: If the behavior persists, use a confronting label such as "Oh, it seems like we've moved to nicknames now," when someone keeps calling you "sweetie" or "sugar" in a meeting or sales call, then observe their response.
  • Concrete instructions: For a stronger confronting label, say: "It seems like you don't want to have a professional relationship." Keep the statement clear, make the line explicit, and deliver it in the analyst voice.
  • Keep the delivery calm and even; the video warns that a more assertive voice can be taken as aggression and invite an aggressive reply.
  • The confronting label is meant for behavior that is a continuing pattern or for a relationship you must keep, so the other person knows the conduct is not acceptable.

Bottom Line

Escalate in stages: a soft, hint-style label first, then a calm, direct confronting label if the behavior does not stop.